guru, n:
A computer owner who can read the manual.
27.5.18
30.5.15
Yesterday
Yesterday (based on Yesterday, The Beatles)
Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay
Now my database has gone away
Oh, I believe in yesterday
Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be
There's a deadline hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly
I - pushed - something wrong
What it was I could not say
Now - all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay
Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away
I knew my data was all here to stay
Now I believe in yesterday
Write in C
(based on "Let it Be" (The Beatles))
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleages come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, oh, write in C.
LISP is dead and buried,
Write in C.
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
Only wimps use BASIC.
Write in C.
Write in C, write in C
Write in C, oh, write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.
{
Guitar Solo
}
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
Don't even mention COBOL.
Write in C.
And when the screen is fuzzy,
And the editor is bugging me.
I'm sick of ones and zeros,
Write in C.
A thousand people sware that T.P.
Seven is the one for me.
I hate the word PROCEDURE,
Write in C.
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
PL1 is 80s,
Write in C.
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, yeah, write in C.
The government loves ADA,
Write in C.
6.1.15
Citation
"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
1.1.15
27.12.13
Yellow Subroutine
In the town where I was born,
Lived a man, who played with 'C'.
And he coded his whole life
On a stack of Function Keys.
So we traced to his data schemes,
Til we found a 'C' routine..
And we lived beneath the SAVES,
In our yellow Sub-Routine...
Chorus:
WE ALL live in A YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE,
YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE, YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE .... (ETC)
When our friends are on the boards,
Many MODEMS RETURN NEXT:FOR
Then the BAUD RATE goes astray...
(B-B-BEEP, BEEP BEEP B-B-BEEP..)
Chorus (IF YOU CAN STAND IT!)
As we live in Memories
Every one of us Returns Linefeeds...
CPU and 'C' Routine,
In our yellow SUB-Routine...
Lived a man, who played with 'C'.
And he coded his whole life
On a stack of Function Keys.
So we traced to his data schemes,
Til we found a 'C' routine..
And we lived beneath the SAVES,
In our yellow Sub-Routine...
Chorus:
WE ALL live in A YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE,
YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE, YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE .... (ETC)
When our friends are on the boards,
Many MODEMS RETURN NEXT:FOR
Then the BAUD RATE goes astray...
(B-B-BEEP, BEEP BEEP B-B-BEEP..)
Chorus (IF YOU CAN STAND IT!)
As we live in Memories
Every one of us Returns Linefeeds...
CPU and 'C' Routine,
In our yellow SUB-Routine...
4.9.12
Citation
"Ignoranti quem portum petat nullus suus uentus est" - Seneca
"Il n'y a point de vent favorable pour celui qui ne sait dans quel port il veut arriver." - Sénèque
"Il n'y a point de vent favorable pour celui qui ne sait dans quel port il veut arriver." - Sénèque
1.9.12
Citation
"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create." - Albert Einstein
18.8.12
99 bottles of beer...
This Website holds a collection of the Song 99 Bottles of Beer
programmed in different programming languages. Actually the song
is represented in 1500 different programming languages and variations.
http://www.99-bottles-of-beer.net/
http://www.99-bottles-of-beer.net/
27.7.12
Citation
"Video games don't affect kids. If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."
- Nintendo CEO -
- Nintendo CEO -
29.6.12
23.8.11
5.5.11
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...
from: http://www.zyra.org.uk/os-air.htm
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.
OSX Air:
You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting in the corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. She smiles and says "Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take your picture", at which point a camera in the wall you didn't notice before takes your picture. "Thank you, here is your ticket" You are handed a minimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all of your information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. You enter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen to music and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any of the other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself "wow, that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing"
Windows Vista Airlines:
You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are "sure" you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow. Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.
Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked "Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?" you instinctively say "Allow".
After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn't updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.
You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much better alternative and helps.
Windows 7 Airlines:
In effect a cunning corporate-takeover rebranding of Windows Vista Airlines with a new paint-job on all of the oversized over-slow planes. Some of the annoying in-flight bugs have been fixed, but it's still basically the same. Plus, when you bought the ticket, you later found that because of an administrative flaw in the airline booking system you had already paid for a duplicate ticket on Windows Vista Airlines, which you now don't need.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
from: http://www.zyra.org.uk/os-air.htm
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Windows XP Air
You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.
OSX Air:
You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting in the corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. She smiles and says "Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take your picture", at which point a camera in the wall you didn't notice before takes your picture. "Thank you, here is your ticket" You are handed a minimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all of your information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. You enter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen to music and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any of the other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself "wow, that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing"
Windows Vista Airlines:
You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are "sure" you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow. Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.
Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked "Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?" you instinctively say "Allow".
After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn't updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.
You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much better alternative and helps.
Windows 7 Airlines:
In effect a cunning corporate-takeover rebranding of Windows Vista Airlines with a new paint-job on all of the oversized over-slow planes. Some of the annoying in-flight bugs have been fixed, but it's still basically the same. Plus, when you bought the ticket, you later found that because of an administrative flaw in the airline booking system you had already paid for a duplicate ticket on Windows Vista Airlines, which you now don't need.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.
When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"
22.4.11
5.12.10
3.12.10
Who is afraid of 2012 ???
“19 Jan 2038 at 3:14:07 AM”
(End of the word according to Unix–2^32 seconds after January 1, 1970)
(End of the word according to Unix–2^32 seconds after January 1, 1970)
30.11.10
Java quotes...
"Java is a DSL to convert large XML files to stack traces"
"Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders"
"Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders"
16.11.10
Citation
Je ne suis pas d'accord avec ce que vous dites, mais je me battrai jusqu'à la mort pour que vous ayez le droit de le dire.
3.11.10
Raisonnement fallacieux
Argumentation et raisonnement fallacieux:
Logic & Fallacies - Constructing a Logical Argument (1997)
Et aussi:
Stephen's Guide to the Logical Fallacies
Logic & Fallacies - Constructing a Logical Argument (1997)
Et aussi:
Stephen's Guide to the Logical Fallacies
21.4.10
Citation
Si tu plonges longtemps ton regard dans l'abîme, l'abîme te regarde aussi.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Friedrich Nietzsche
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