Fortune

guru, n:
A computer owner who can read the manual.

Yesterday

Yesterday (based on Yesterday, The Beatles) 

      Yesterday,
      All those backups seemed a waste of pay
      Now my database has gone away
      Oh, I believe in yesterday

      Suddenly,
      There's not half the files there used to be
      There's a deadline hanging over me
      The system crashed so suddenly

      I - pushed - something wrong
      What it was I could not say

      Now - all my data's gone
      and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay

      Yesterday,
      The need for back-ups seemed so far away
      I knew my data was all here to stay
      Now I believe in yesterday

Write in C

(based on "Let it Be" (The Beatles))

  When I find my code in tons of trouble,
  Friends and colleages come to me,
  Speaking words of wisdom:
  "Write in C."

  As the deadline fast approaches,
  And bugs are all that I can see,
  Somewhere, someone whispers:
  "Write in C."

  Write in C, write in C,
  Write in C, oh, write in C.
  LISP is dead and buried,
  Write in C.

  I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
  For science it worked flawlessly.
  Try using it for graphics!
  Write in C.

  If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
  Debugging some assembly,
  Soon you will be glad to
  Write in C.

  Write in C, write in C,
  Write in C, yeah, write in C.
  Only wimps use BASIC.
  Write in C.

  Write in C, write in C
  Write in C, oh, write in C.
  Pascal won't quite cut it.
  Write in C.

  {
       Guitar Solo
  }

  Write in C, write in C,
  Write in C, yeah, write in C.
  Don't even mention COBOL.
  Write in C.

  And when the screen is fuzzy,
  And the editor is bugging me.
  I'm sick of ones and zeros,
  Write in C.

  A thousand people sware that T.P.
  Seven is the one for me.
  I hate the word PROCEDURE,
  Write in C.

  Write in C, write in C,
  Write in C, yeah, write in C.
  PL1 is 80s,
  Write in C.

  Write in C, write in C,
  Write in C, yeah, write in C.
  The government loves ADA,
  Write in C.

Citation

"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Car enfin le trait le plus visible dans l'homme juste est de ne point vouloir du tout gouverner les autres, et de se gouverner seulement lui-même. Cela décide tout. Autant dire que les pires gouverneront.

Alain

Yellow Subroutine

In the town where I was born,
Lived a man, who played with 'C'.
And he coded his whole life
On a stack of Function Keys.

So we traced to his data schemes,
Til we found a 'C' routine..
And we lived beneath the SAVES,
In our yellow Sub-Routine...

Chorus:
WE ALL live in A YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE,
YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE, YELLOW SUB-ROUTINE .... (ETC)

When our friends are on the boards,
Many MODEMS RETURN NEXT:FOR
Then the BAUD RATE goes astray...
(B-B-BEEP, BEEP BEEP B-B-BEEP..)

Chorus (IF YOU CAN STAND IT!)

As we live in Memories
Every one of us Returns Linefeeds...
CPU and 'C' Routine,
In our yellow SUB-Routine...

Citation

"Ignoranti quem portum petat nullus suus uentus est" - Seneca

"Il n'y a point de vent favorable pour celui qui ne sait dans quel port il veut arriver." - Sénèque